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STERN'S ULCER, REMEMBERED

By Susan Dworkin

Susan Dworkin is co-author of The Nazi Officer's Wife and
President of Jewish Contemporary Classics.

Back in 1962, years before the comic whining heroes of Philip Roth and Woody Allen, Bruce Jay Friedman published an achingly funny satirical novel about Jewish anxieties called Stern. Hailed by critics, the author took his place alongside Saul Bellow and Bernard Malamud in the Jewish literary hot spot. Then he journeyed beyond it into the commercial world, becoming a success on Broadway and in the movies with hilarious works that often had watery titles: Scuba Duba, Steambath, Splash.

To my mind, Bruce Jay Friedman was a "guy writer"; his fiction appeared in magazines like Playboy which I never read. But now all these decades later, I have spent many months recording Stern as an audiobook, and I realize that Friedman's work defined events in my life in ways I never fully understood.

At the time Stern was published, I had a boyfriend who possessed many of the same qualities as the hero of Friedman's novel. Like Stern, my boyfriend was a sweet, sensitive, witty, theatre-loving Jewish New Yorker. He cracked me up with his self-deprecating humor. He yearned over mankind. Hated violence. And like Stern, he lived in fear.

My boyfriend was afraid of all goyim. He thought of them as a solid wall of muscle preparing at any moment to pummel his soft body into a humiliating puddle of defeat. Even though he never ever broke the law, he was afraid of the police, their guns and their boots. He could not bear to hurt anybody's feelings.

As for women... well, the axiom that "girls just want to have fun" struck terror into my boyfriend's heart.

One night I said: "Could we go dancing sometime?"

He looked at me with alarm. "Do you need to go dancing?!"

"Uh uh...no...well...but dancing is fun..."

"The only dancing I do is at weddings and bar mitzvahs, with my date, which is you!" he cried. "Isn't that enough dancing? Do we have to do more?! Anyway, I thought we were already having fun!"

"We are, we are," I responded soothingly. "Not to worry. We don't have to go dancing. It's all right. It's not important. Forget I ever said it."

One night my boyfriend and I went to a party in Connecticut. On the way home, we got a flat tire. A dark road. No traffic. (Remember, this was before cell phones.) "Oh my God, oh my God..." my boyfriend whispered frantically as we sputtered and plopped to a halt. He was going to have to change the tire, and he was scared to death.

Breathing raggedly, his hands trembling, he opened the trunk and hauled out the jack, the wrench, and the spare. I offered to help. "No!" he exclaimed. "I can do this myself!" I backed off, pretending to be interested in the moonlit landscape, but really trying not to add to his nervousness by standing over him and watching.

He changed the tire. Thank God. He was so excited and so proud and so relieved to have been able to change that tire that he told me he loved me and asked me to marry him.

Of course, I turned him down because even then I knew that it takes more than mechanical success to hold up a chupah. But we were both deeply affected by the incident in Connecticut.

He decided to join the Army. Military service, he would later tell me, proved the answer to his prayers, making him, at last, a man among men. Although he never lost his fear of the goyim, just the fact that he could, if absolutely necessary, shoot back at them, changed his life.

For myself, I went off to Israel and Detroit and other exotic locales, looking for Jews who did not live in fear of tools.

With Stern, Bruce Jay Friedman defined the problem of guys like my boyfriend: they were caught between a Jewish culture that never equated manhood with the power to be tough, mechanical and violent, and an American culture which said you weren't a real man unless you could change tires, stand up to bad guys, and if absolutely necessary, blow them away.

As a many-voiced actor named Adam Grupper read Stern to us in the recording studio, regaling us with the story of Stern's frantic battle with the local anti-Semite, his anxiety about women (who always seem - Jews and Gentiles alike - to want to go dancing), the ulcer that he got from just worrying about these terrible challenges, I saw my boyfriend trembling on his knees before that flat tire in the moonlight.

I caught a rerun of Seinfeld the other night, and it seemed to me the character of George Castanza was strangely reminiscent of my old boyfriend and Bruce Jay Freidman's comic hero, Stern. Has anything changed in 40 years? Or does Stern's ulcer live on?

Susan Dworkin
Jewish Contemporary Classics, Inc.


Stern
Written by Bruce Jay Friedman.
Read by Adam Grupper.
3 Cassettes, plus Listener's Guide. Approx. 4.5 hours.
ISBN -1-893079-05-8 $29.95 SRP
Order direct from: Jewish Contemporary Classics, Inc.
Toll Free: 1-877-JCC-TAPE (522-8273) Online: www.jccaudiobooks.com

Note to Editors: You are free to reprint this article at no cost. Please use the author identification line and let Jewish Contemporary Classics, Inc. know (toll free 1-877-JCC-TAPE or HYPERLINK "mailto:sales@jccaudiobooks.com" sales@jccaudiobooks.com) if you run it. We also ask that you let your readers know that they can purchase Stern on audio by calling 1-877-JCC-TAPE (522-8273) or www.jccaudiobooks.com.

 


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